id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
