I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
