your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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