Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
