So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
