What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
