Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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