I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I don't think brook has ever known best
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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