I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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