So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
try to milk me bitch
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