he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
