Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize