i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
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