i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
