we have officially lost it.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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