so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
