I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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