just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
