I look better un-naked...
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
