I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
