just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
