if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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