we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
