Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
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