From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
