it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
