His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I touched a dick in church today
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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