like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
