thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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