the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
