You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
