dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
