He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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