If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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