Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
