I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
