she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize