For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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