What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
