yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
