Where are you?
In a non slutty way
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
