sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
