He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
