Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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