i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize