its not stalking. its research.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
