Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
