I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
