brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
