Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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