when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
