"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
