I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
