Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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