I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
