He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
