And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
we're so committed to being not committed
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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