I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
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