I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
