i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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