the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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