Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
