i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
