you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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