Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
