I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
