Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
