Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
