Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
