Don't make out with my wife yet
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
