last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
