i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
