i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
