Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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