im drinking this country out of the recession.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
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