The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
They have beer where we have blood.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
