..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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