i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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